Entertainment in Review

Being the son of a man who is part of the Writer's Guild for his temp jobs, I get multiple DVD's this time of year for free, and I happen to watch some of them. Today in my reviews, I'm reviewing Funny People, Smokey and the Bandit (LATE review), and in a foray into TV, Survivor: Samoa. Enjoy.

Smokey: A

This movie is definitely one of my favorites. From the backwoods prejudics of Sheriff Buford T. Justice of Texas to the comic interaction over CB between Smokey and the Bandit, this movie is great. The song "Eastbound and Down" is also catchy, and I thoroughly enjoy this movie.

Funny People: B

Funny People certainly lives up to its name as the various comics featured within the movie crack wise and deal up some funny, funny material. This movie seemed more serious than the topics of previous Sandler movies, the kids movies parodied within the movie. I definitely enjoyed the background humor, but the plot suffered; the romance sideplot lacked humor and generally was chock full of cliche romance (girl loves guy, girl is married, girl stays with married guy) and it generally derailed the movie. However, the movie was not totally wrecked, and so it gets a B.


Survivor: Samoa: Russell Hantz- A+, Everyone Else- E
This season revolves most definitely around oil company mogul Russell Hantz, the scheming maniacal man who lives to ruin the game for everyone else. He has found immunity idols without clues, and taken out all who oppose him. He is certainly the best player to ever grace the game, and the 8 to 4 majority the other tribe had going into the merge has been ended as Russell blindsided the members of that tribe to extinction. Although not the physical powerhouse, Russell is certainly master of charisma and intrigue, and his guile, I hope, will win him the game.

Everyone else is sort of invisible; they easily fall into Russell's machinations and there has been little done for me to like them. Of course, the producers focus on Russell, but without him, this season would be friggin Thailand all over again.

I Have Returned, People of The Internet

Once again, I have returned to the world of blogging. As you may or may not notice, I have changed both my nickname in the blog, as well as the title and layout. I hope to be writing a bit more, with more real world topics. I hope that you will continue reading, those few of you who even check this site, for I am back.

And I'm ready to blog.

Happy Birthday, Vladimir!

Well, kiddies, today is both Earth Day and the birthday of Vladimir Illyich Lenin. I am here to talk about Earth Day, which I have not heard much about. In Spanish, we got started on the environment unit. Yahoo has a special toolbar. But I am here to say that Earth Day is merely a nice gesture, but is a waste of time.

Earth Day is the yearly celebration of both the Earth and the annual politician gabfest where a million empty promises are made to "help the environment". Quite frankly, the Earth is sort of screwed anyway. Let us look at the fact that most of the Earth is unindustrialized. This means that when they do industrialize, it will be a huge version of the Industrial Revolution, back when fuel was dirtier. Both China and India are getting more cars and more factories. Our air dies with them. With one third of the worlds populus between them, their industrialization will kill the air efforts. Clean fuels like ethanol starve people, nuclear is so far unsafe, and air/solar/battery are inconvenient. On the conservation level, the countries with endangered animals are also ones with starving people and governments incapable of regulation. Poaching will go on- there is no regulation, no oversight, and these people need a way to live. People before animals.


In relation to America, this "green" movement is highly publicized, and is making inroads, but let's face it: people are lazy. They could care less, and the green movement will lose steam. America's culture itself favors the corporations. The tribes we conquered were the nature-lovers, while we built upon the land. Combine that with economic costs in a crappy economy, and no one will be wanting to spend extra money on green stuff, especially consumers. Once consumers can't afford the extra cost, the pressure on corporations will be gone, and the environmentalists won't have anyone.

Earth Day should be heeded, but the waves it swims against are too fast. Capitalism and industrialization leave the Earth out in the pile of industrial waste.

On The Subject of AP Classes: Fallen Standards

This will not be the first time I have ranted about how our standards have fallen. But this time, I speak on a subject that is key to most high school educations: AP Classes.

I am here to talk about how AP is not really "AP" anymore. You see, thanks to increasing pressure from parents, friends, and MCPS, kids now want to try and get into AP Classes. It used to be that Honors was Honors, and AP was Honors Plus. Bygone are those days. Thanks to an influx of students who should be in AP, and concurrently, a bunch of regular kids going into Honors, our standards have been pathetically diluted. Here is how the system is.

AP is the new Honors
Honors is the new Regular
Regular is the "remedial" class.

I bid no ill will towards any of my classmates in Honors classes, but for once I'd like Honors to be for Honors kids. By a miracle of dilution and lack of lessons, I still have very little homework. I want Honors to be Honors. Now, that distinction is gone; no longer is Honors just for Honors kids. The really sad thing is, the county and the school are causing this to accelerate. AP isn't AP when everyone is in it.

Now, many kids in Honors classes are very intelligent, and very much so in mine. But there are always average kids, who should be in Regular. At the very least, I want AP +. That will separate the 4.0's from the 3.2's

I Speak For The Trees!

Hello. Sorry for another hiatus, but the total lack of material has led to a proverbial thought drought for me. I am here with more complaints about a certain teacher. Although they we're a long-term sub, they were mediocre. I also started the semester with them. My main tsurris with this individual is her total lack of ability to teach. Here is our normal regimen of education.

We have various packets, all of which are wastes of paper. We have to basically teach ourselves from the book and are expected to know it with little or no review during the class. This I hate. Why is my family paying valuable taxpayer money on many teachers, or subs, who teach like this! Why can't they get a qualified professional that is experienced in the grade level! Why is my father's money WASTED!!!

In addition to this, we have also gotten a very idiotic assignment. We have to find one missing thing, but have to also discern info on 5 other similar things in the same manner, wasting time that could be used for clarification.

Due to this, I say: Cave into those darned environmentalists and save some trees. Ban packets from MCPS schools.

I'm BACK!!!!

Yes, readers. El Doctor has returned. Please pardon me for my last unending hiatus- I don't have too many school rants unfortunately, save for a new long term sub- but that topic is stale. Therefore, I guess my cannon of cynicism turns to the holiday season. Lets see what I hate.

BEWARE; The following is bitter, and may not always be politically correct. However, the author would like to maintain a neutral stance, so don't take my rant the wrong way.

1. The cheery, saccharine idiots who are all "peace and love". Yes, the holidays are a wonderful time (seeing my Mom more than half an hour a day! SWAG!), but as a cynic, the sugar coated ladida CRAP is just a bit irritating.
2. When Spence is bored. I love you occasionally, Littles, but you are just SOOOO whiny when you are "bored". You have a ton of Wii games- play them. Do that instead of moping around. To quote St. Paul "Be as I am". If I can manage with less games (albeit better games and a whole TiVo), then you can have some fun without us having to cater to you.
3. Christmas music. Some songs are alright. Some songs are "Christmas Shoes". But overall, they all get annoying after a while. Try going in a car a lot (as I do), with no iPod. And the darn stations play the damn modern versions. The originals are much better, you stupid jockey. At least 97.1's quality improves from absolute crap to mostly crap.
4. TheEndOfChristmas.org and its right-wing kin. Yes, you can be Christian. Just stop saying that Christmas is doomed without everyone being reminded of the Nativity every fricking second. There is Christian Christmas (Baby Jesus), and there is Materialist American Christmas (Dutch, Coca Cola, Buying Stuff). If you are so American, then decide which one you support.
5. The Left Wing uber-secularists. I would usually support you guys, but give it a break- its the holidays in the developed worlds most religious country. Its futile, just like resistance to assimilation into the Borg.
6. The schools giving us a two day week. Come on MoCo. Find it in stone cold, blackened, shriveled heart to give us one and two day weeks off.
7. Those damned inspiring "poor get gifts, yay!" news stories. That material is great cannon fodder for the View, or Lifetime, but it ain't news. News reporting is for meaningful stuff, not inspiring crap. Speaking of which, Extreme Home Makeover needs to die. In a horrible, gruesome death lasting 4 days. Bring out the Sarlacc pit!
8. The "last minute shoppers" If you really cared, you'd get it before Dec. 24, jerk. (Except for Mom- she works all day, people. She is exempt from that rule.)
9. Traffic. Traffic is always worse. Due to my staying home, and living in a metropolitan area, this is a real issue.
10. Most of my friends leaving. It may not be your fault, but I thought the holidays were supposed to be at home. I can understand my fellow Jews leaving, but Christmas is at HOME! Please stay... PLEASE?
11. The saddening state of the gaming industry. Hey, Nintendo- get on the third parties to make games. My Wii needs more games, dammit! Release better stuff from third parties more often, and then bring out the super magnum opus games you make. PC, I love you guys.
12. Not being able to get rated M games. You know, most of the great games out there are M and AO. Now I have no reason to get the 360, even though I'd give up the PS2. Evan got GTA IV! And thats AO! Stop being a hypocrite- you criticize the nanny nation, but yet you don't let me get rated M games.
13. My Mom not relaxing. O lauded Empress, for the sake of your God, take a break! Relax! Don't get stressed! I beg of you!
14. Olney 9 having no movies to watch. Your closing in Jan, but still the market releases those B.S. inspiring Christmas movies! They fricking suck, every damn year! Give me some good movies, like in the summer! It gets Spencer out of the house! Unless it involves that lamp or shooting an eye out, any of those "Santa Claus needs help" or "kids need help" movies can go straight to hell!
15. The Recession This one is more economic principle and psychology. People want to scrimp, hurting stocks and the economy, making them scrimp more. It really puts a damper on our materialistic orgy of stuff.
16. Not Enough To Blog About. I don't like dissapointing you fans- there is NOTHING interesting at my school!

If I had a Christmas special, here would be the moral: Remember, kiddies- charity, saccharine-ness and charity again are bad! They go against what Christmas is all about- spending until we drown in an orgy of credit-card debt.

Why I Want To Go To A European College

Because America's education is subpar compared to their's. We may have resources and money, but we squander it on tests, not learning. And that, my friends, pissed me the hell off.

We learn all year for the test, but still those European kids do better! We lack in all facets of education except for living for the test. NCLB is like voodoo education!

My real anger comes not from tests, which are easy as hell, but from our foreign language education. Everyone else learns English with their language. We learn foreign languages starting in 7th grade. In this globalized world, we can't expect every non-English country to pander to us, and America just doesn't seem to understand that. This is why no one goes past what they need for credit- because we start too late and we get lost and confused. Our only real option is to learn by living in the country, and that takes money. It should be the public education systems responsibility to make sure American children don't fall behind for a long time compared with our smarter, better educated, harder working counterparts across the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. I am willing to concede that maybe we get too much time off. However, most of that time could be won back with the abolishment of tests. With foreign language starting at grade 1, many of our immigrant issues could be much better solved. Wake up, government bureaucrats! Your children need better educations!

My Angry Political Rant

As of Tuesday, my favored candidate, Sen. Barack Obama, was the POTUS-Elect. When I came into school on the 5th, however, the overwhelming majority of kids who supported Barack Obama did his creed of bipartisanship no favors. All day I overheard people insult John McCain, criticize him, and call Palin "a bitch". While I despise all social conservatives (Palin), she is an admirable person. So is John McCain. However, no one paid any heed to that. I am incensed that my peers would so blatantly bash John McCain. He is a good man who ran a really bad campaign. That doesn't mean you bash him just because he dared challenge the Obamessiah.

If McCain had won, and McCain fans did this, there would've been race riots, other riots, and outrage from activists. What the hell! What happened to good sportsmanship and gentleman-like conduct when you win! You have done Barack Obama great shame, my friends. Yes, you can bash McCain. That doesn't mean you should.

I am also miffed at the liberal new media. I can't believe I'm typing this, but Limbaugh was right- the media really is liberally biased. I could not find one non-partisan standing in any article I found. Time. The Washington Post. Every major network except FOX. They were all so blatant in their support. I thought the media had integrity. I guess I learned that not everyone lives up to that standard. I always the media was like my father- non-partisan. I guess I was wrong.

I Don't Like Sarah Palin...

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING OPINIONS ARE FROM A 15-YEAR OLD TEENAGER WHO IS NOT AS WELL-INFORMED AS AN ADULT. THEREFORE, A LOT OF VALIDITY IS LOST FROM THESE COMMENTS AND THEY SHOULD BE READ AS HARMLESS OPINION AND IN NO WAY VALID IDEOLOGY. IF YOU GET PISSED, LET'S JUST SAY I WARNED YOU, READER.

I, after reading my fathers various blogs on Sarah Palin, have decided to express my opinions on certain figures who I have heard enough about to comment on- Sarah Palin, John McCain, and Barack Obama. Sorry, Biden- you're just not that interesting.

Sarah Palin

I have heard many viewpoints on Alaskas governor, most of them biased, uniformed, liberal, and from my teenage friends, and a well-informed opinion from my news-wise dad. (Yay Dad!).

My belief, contrary to my father, is that one should vote based on policy, not on how good a person is. I'm not saying I'd vote for Satan if he was in my policy range, but generally, the candidate that you agree with should be the one you vote for. I also, giving plaudits to my father for his oversight, must say that this is flawed due to party loyalty. However, without party loyalties involved, this method would give us a good government. Quite frankly, I don't want a "common joe" candidate. I guess democracy, in the end, is not well executed- the common man sucks at running a government. The smart, the educated, the merited, those are the ones who should rule. In relation to Sarah Palin, she is a wonderful person who has bravely faced down the media, the most vicious attack dogs ever concieved. She should be admired for her bravery, her spunk, and her chutzpah. That doesn't mean she is even qualified to hold office. She is less experienced than Barack Obama, and lives, and governs, a state that is far from the main 48 states, has a very small population, issues far removed from conventional ones, and Alaska is just as Canadian as it is for the US. Her "maverick" attitude and sychronization with McCains foreign policy genuinely scares the crap out of me- you can see Russia from your backyard, but you can also see that they still have a nuclear arsenal. Her religious Evangelism just pisses me off- religion is fine, but it is never meant to be interpreted literally. Evangelicals in office often bring their religion into politics, and I am sick of separation of church and state being destroyed. Overall, I think policy is what really matters in a candidate. The last thing I want is a president I'd want to have a beer with. However, Sarah Palin, you are a wonderful person... with the most misguided, backwards, theocratic ideology in a modern, industrialized country.

Barack Obama:
I love Barack. I love his standings on most policies, except gun control, some environmental issues, and affirmative action. However, I am sick of the media giving him such a good rap- what the hell? The only news I hear or read is good for Barack Obama! I want non-partisan journalism, and I think Barack Obama gets really lucky in terms of how the media plays him. In terms of personality, he is my kind of guy. Calm, cool, an intellectual with a high education- not a common joe. I support him, and I agree with him. I just hope he can run the country- we need a good leader right now.

John McCain
I think John McCain is Sarah Palin without the lovable charm. He is an insider, and I disagree vehemently with most of his policy stances. He has a stubborn, angry, foreign policy, no good view on the economy, and quite frankly, I see no signs of him being a moderate. I thought he was a moderate, but he really isn't. I guess he was forced to- it is hard to win without the Evangelist right- calling them Christian is too broad a term-, but it no excuse for the former "maverick". John McCain isn't evil (he ain't Dick Cheney), but he has no redeeming qualities. His blind patriotism and policies have turned him into the least likable person in this campaign. (Joe Biden is just the most... boring.)

Well, thats my opinion. I am for Obama/Biden. Good job, Sarah- you deserve more respect than you get.

National Geographic: The Suburban Jungle!

Yes, loyal readers- Nat. Geo parody is now a recurring sketch in the blog. In our second SSABBOB post- Life in Bio Anthropolgy- A Sophomore Among Upperclassmen.

(cue the British voice)

Today, we are here, after chasing that GEICO Gecko, in the wilds of the outer B-Hall. Today, we observe our usual specimen in this new class. However, he is not among others of the sophomore herd. Instead, he is with... UPPERCLASSMEN...

This class, which studies how humanity evolved (In your face, William Jennings Bryan!), the tone is educational, but the class, a social but small one, is very laid back and chatty, though not as bad as last years English hell. The topics just erupt from private conversations, covering such riveting topics as gang wars and chinchillas. Our specimen is the smartest one there, constantly answering to the prompts of the teacher. He does his work fast, and is generally talking due to the laid back pace. One can't help but wonder why the seniors are taking the class- some said they wanted that teacher, others gave... weirder reasons. However, the class is still very educational, making it a sort of paradise for any student- social, laid back, but still fast enough to do well on tests- if you're normal, unlike our specimen. This has been National Geographic- The Suburban Jungle.